The Meg (2018)
I tend to go for rich weighty films. Stories that have depth and presence, but y’know what, sometimes you just need something daft. I give you THE MEG. “Let’s do this!” The reasoning to my ‘switch your brain off’ madness and watching this is The Stath! Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) is an underwater rescue dude superhero. You know this from the way he talks, low manly tones coupled with a lot of furrowed brows, no one is gonna mess with The Stath. That is until a bloody big fish kills two of his buddies. He doesn’t know it’s a big fish yet but the stage is set. Big epic score. Digital typey text onscreen letting us know where we are. It’s not afraid to keep it simple and smack in your face obvious. Morris (Rainn Wilson) is a bloke with a lot of money, funding a deep sea lab that’s going to depths previously unexplored. Oh I wonder what they’ll find? Oh come on, you know! They’re buggered, there only hope is... hell yeah, it’s The Stath!! It’s all silly hero, cool tech, macho bullshit, a monster movie at its core with more cheesy lines than should be palatable, but it’s a lot of fun. This is largely because it doesn’t dick around. The narrative is laid out fast. Time of the essence, people in danger yada yada. Now I’ve another confession. It’s not just The Stath and his tongue in cheek charm that’s brought me here. It’s the underwater thing. I love this stuff, the idea that there’s huge unexplored areas, it’s license to create, indulge, go utterly bonkers... and it does. Giant Squid, Giant Sharks, nothing is off limits. Things really get cooking in the second act. With the deep sea rescue over and The Meg out in the open ocean. It’s like Jaws... but bigger... and sillier... and the shark looks better. If there’s one problem, it’s that it’s not scary. It’s knowing humour puts pay to that, but without it, it’d be unwatchable. Don’t get me wrong, it’s shit and it’s too long. There’s a load of sentimental crap thrown in that’s utterly pointless and most of the characters of not all are paper thin and irritating. This is an action movie though, you’re in the wrong place if you want thought provoking plots and engaging dialogue. If you want explosions, blood and colossal sea creatures, well look no further.