Why on earth would anyone watch this? Well after a friend mentioned being obsessed with it as a kid and me not having seen it, I thought it might be a laugh. It looks cheap and nasty, even by 80s standards. Dodger (Mackenzie Astin) is the bullied kid in high school. America of course, no one else would make anything this ridiculous. His refuge from his bully ‘Juice’ (Ron MacLachlan), whose character should be in jail not a kids film, is his job at an antiques shop with Captain Manzini (Anthony Newley). The shop is full of odd things, including a garbage pail (that’s a bin in the UK). Dodger is told it’s to be kept closed hinting at its evil contents. But when Juice and his accomplices come to the shop, after some terrible acting and an even worse fight scene, the pail tips over and out pours green slime and a bunch of animatronic ‘kids’ that are enough to give you nightmares. Did I say cheap and nasty? Honestly they look absolutely terrible. They’re supposed to be disgusting, but they just look crap. I’m looking for something positive to say, but theres nothing really. Even the unlikely love story subplot between Dodger and Tangerine (Katie Barberi) is absurd. Although apparently the actors were dating. There’s the suggestion in the opening titles that the GPK’s (I’m not typing that in full every time) come from outer space, but that’s about as deep as any explanation gets. The GPK’s know their place, stay out of sight or it’s back in the can. But when they see their new friend Dodger needs help, help they do. Oh and they sing for some reason. Needless to say the song is the worst thing I’ve ever heard. At one point Nat Nerd (they all have stupid names) says “Hey I thought it was funny”, it wasn’t and it isn’t. I know it’s nearly 40 years old and I’m far outside the target audience, but I’m pretty sure I’d have hated this even as a kid. Soon enough the GPK’s are in need of help themselves. Will Dodger be able to save them in time? To be honest I couldn’t care less. The best thing about it is it’s so bad, there was never a sequel. Rumour is that a different director wanted to turn the script into an all out horror movie… now that might’ve been good. This is not.
0/10
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