Bumblebee (2018) - 3/10
Updated: Apr 25
Well this is a gamble. I watched a Transformers film once. If you've no kind words they say. I had no kind words. I was told I might like this though. It's fun apparently. I'm not expecting much and that's what I get. It's like Herbie Goes Bananas! If only!! I might get a few laughs. It's typical good verses bad bollocks, with the future of the good guys being entrusted to poor old Bumblebee who's blasted off to earth to find help. Unfortunately earth is populated by idiot earthlings and by that I mean Americans. Who give the typical welcome of shooting the shit out of everything. So far so predictable. I'm not sure what's been said when the good guy is a knackered old Beetle, granted a design classic and the bad guys are tricked out muscle cars. The whole thing lacks class, finesse, any sense of subtlety and it seems slightly desperate to be cool as Charlie (Hailee Steinfeld) makes her entrance to The Smiths playing on a Walkman. She desperately wants a car... well that's convenient. Charlie is the poor downtrodden, misunderstood kid, doing her best in a sea of obnoxious peers and clueless parents that look down on her. Did I mention she wants a car? Her father that has passed away taught her how to fix them up, but it's not until she's spots a knackered looking Beetle in a scrap yard that she catches a break. Of course that's no Beetle! Bumblebee's in bad shape and needs a friend. Charlie fixes stuff and needs a friend... and a car. They're two misfits that are gonna save the world as the bad robots are coming. The whole thing is set in a sun kissed, dusty California populated with the dumbest people you're likely to find on any screen. I will say it does have some funny moments, mostly from the robot... he's the best actor, essentially pitched as a child that needs teaching the ways of the world, his memory lost, his mission forgotten. It knows what it is though. Blockbuster fodder and it plays it with a wilful cheese. Lots of silly action, no messy plot (next to none at all) and it does have some killer 80s needle drops. Don't get me wrong though. It utter crap.